CoEd Team Perspective
June Phang June 24, 2026
I rolled my eyes as I got “lapped” for the 2nd time by my teammate Jake as I turned on the wall. In swimming, getting lapped is the term for someone passing you more than once in the same set. Essentially it means you’ve fallen way behind. I was used to this though – I was one of only 4 girls on a team of 20 swimmers at the highest club level in high school. At this point in life, it had become very difficult for me to keep up with the guys, but my coach also expected us to train at the level we competed at. That meant making the same intervals as the guys, keeping up with, and racing them. Practices were tough, and although I saw many of my male teammates as older brothers and would never trade my experiences with them, training with them was challenging. They would express frustration with having to train with girls that would “slow them down”. I often felt I shared that frustration with myself. There was a list of girls ranked by attractiveness on the team, which made me feel more conscious of my appearance in my swimsuit. It was easy to feel like the effort I put in, the way I worked, and the way I looked was never enough around my teammates in high school. Playing any co-ed sport likely can feel that way. But it is true science that males develop more muscle mass, have longer growth periods, and less of a response to stress than females . As women, we must always strive for more because of these facts, but we can and should understand that there will be differences between our male counterparts in sports.
I eventually took these lessons to college swimming at the Air Force Academy. I always wanted to be as good as the men in whatever I pursued. At the first fitness tests we took, I would try to keep up with the boys – even in running, a sport I was not familiar with at the time. The Academy was also a male dominated institution. But unlike high school, for the first time I swam with an all-female team. I was delighted to have almost 20 other female teammates who would eat as much as me everyday, push me towards goals I desired, and supported me throughout the struggles of body changes in the late teens and early 20s. I also began to work with a nutritionist for the first time in my life. Growing confident with my new teammates in the struggles that I knew were normal parts of a female athlete’s life, like weight gain, external expectations, and a natural plateau towards the later years of my career allowed me to succeed in a male-dominated environment outside of the pool and at the Academy as well. I would always hold myself to the “higher” “male” standard, but I celebrated my wins more often. Eventually, I graduated at the top 10% of my class at the Academy between both genders. The reality is, as a female athlete, your world might always feel that it is dominated by someone else: your coach, your teammates, the spectators. But those people are not the same as you. We are different and we deserve to celebrate our wins. Find teammates who support that
Female Empowerment
Lily Granley August 5, 2024
What is Female Empowerment?
Empowerment is a process that allows girls and women to make their own choices and gain control of their own lives.
Why is Female Empowerment Important?
Empowerment will help create gender equity and equal opportunities for girls and women. Empowerment creates self-confidence.
How Can I Empower Myself?
The key is self-confidence. Confidence is a mindset. Start with the body language of standing tall and speaking with authority. Treat yourself with respect and engage in positive self-talk. Don’t get caught up in what others may say if they try to cut you down. Act assertive without being aggressive.
What are some differences between Assertive and Aggressive?
Assertive
Aggressive
Calm and confident
Often angry and appearing under-confident
Speaks firmly about boundaries and behaviors
More threatening or attacking approach
Speaks and acts respectfully
Speaks and acts disrespectfully
Appropriately honest but constructive, even when causing discomfort
May be honest but done with anger, puts others’ down
Increases own self-esteem
Reduces own and others’ self-esteem
Share your opinions.
Women are often taught to be quiet and not to speak up. When they do speak up and share opinions, they are told that they should just be quiet or that they are “Taking up too much space.”
Be honest with feedback.
If you worry too much about being “nice,” you may end up making the situation worse for you or other women. Being assertive and respectful while giving honest feedback is more empowering to all.
Learn to say “No.”
Some women feel bad if they say no. But this is an appropriate boundary at times. You do not need a reason or to over-explain. Your needs are not less important than others.
Set Boundaries
Setting boundaries is very important to feel comfortable and safe around people. Expressing boundaries to people can be difficult when you aren’t used to doing it but it will get easier the more you do it. You need to set boundaries especially in situations where you feel uncomfortable or unsafe.
Don’t let people push your boundaries.
Stand up for yourself and tell them that what they are doing is not ok. Clearly communicate your boundaries and make sure they understand. Confidence is very important here. Be confident in what your boundaries are and act confident when you are expressing them even if you don’t feel confident. If your boundaries are still not being respected, then it might be best to remove yourself from the situation and not spend time around that person anymore. If people do not respect your boundaries, they may not be worth your time.
Don’t tolerate disrespect.
Be confident and stand up for yourself.
Say things like:
“I have no interest in being talked to in this manner.”
“What made you think you could address me this way?”
“I didn't mean to give you the impression that you were allowed to talk to me in such a way.”
“I see that you are having difficulty expressing yourself. I’ll give you a moment to collect yourself and you can try again.”
Please don’t interrupt me while I am speaking.”
Dress as you want.
Dress in what makes you feel the most confident. Your body is not the distraction or a problem. If necessary, fight unfair dress codes. Some dress codes are geared only towards women which is unfair. How you dress should not make a difference in how you are treated. Girls are taught to cover up and be modest so as not to distract boys from a very young age.This reinforces the notion that boys should not be responsible for their actions and teaches girls to be ashamed of their bodies.
Point out sexism when you see it.
Ignoring sexism just makes the problem worse. Don’t just laugh off sexist jokes and comments.
Say things like:
“That's not true.”
“That’s not funny.”
“I don’t get it. Why is that funny?”
Talk about taboo things - normalize them, such a periods. Periods are a big part of life and are not something to be ashamed of. We need to teach young girls that they are very normal and take away the fear that many young girls feel.
Surround yourself with people who empower women.
People who are uplifting.
People who will treat you as an equal.
People who respect you.
Learn from other powerful women.
Help empower other women.
We need to celebrate each other and take pride in our accomplishments. Empowering women means also supporting women of color, other religions and all who identify as women. Encourage women to speak up and express their true self. Give sincere compliments. Support them if they are criticized or judged unfairly.
Disagree respectfully with other women.
We are not going to agree on everything with other women. But we need to listen to each other and speak respectfully. We should not dismiss each other but we can disagree without fighting.
Support women in sports and other areas that are often dominated by men.
Go to women’s sporting events. Support females wearing uniforms that they are comfortable in. Support the idea that all bodies can be athletic bodies regardless of their shape.
Shop at women-owned businesses.
It was only in 1974 that women gained the right to have bank accounts without their husbands’ signatures. Financial independence is essential for empowerment. Encourage other women’s business plans.
Mentor younger girls.
Each generation needs to keep the momentum going for gender equality. Encourage girls to show their true selves and have confidence.
Support gender equality for kids.
If kids learn from a young age that gender equality is important then they will be better off later in life. Discourage gender stereotypes.
Challenge- After reading the list above, make a mental list of 3 things you can do today to empower yourself and others! You go girl!